So, heard a song today... going to try and upload it. Its called I can't hate you anymore. Not sure if my feelings ever were about hate but you get the idea. I have taken the last week or so to really reflect on where I am at. The last 2 years have been insane. Both very good and very bad... and have left some serious battle scars. But, by giving props to those who are helping to create the battle scars am I doing more damage to myself. I was told this past week that maybe it is time to "cut bait". I have not responded... but, yep maybe it is time to finally cut bait and live by those words I repeat to myself every morning when I wake up:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
and the saga continues
Well... Like I said you learn something new everyday...
Not only did I not speak with my father on fathers day for the 2nd year in a row, but I find out that he was 20 minutes away from my house on Saturday picking up a new puppy. No phone call, no heads up, no wanting to see any of us... And he wanted to rush back to spend Fathers day with the daughter that mattered...
WOW!
Not only did I not speak with my father on fathers day for the 2nd year in a row, but I find out that he was 20 minutes away from my house on Saturday picking up a new puppy. No phone call, no heads up, no wanting to see any of us... And he wanted to rush back to spend Fathers day with the daughter that mattered...
WOW!
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Fathers day...
To all the dads who read this blog I wish you a very happy fathers day!
I think that Mike had a great day... We tried to spoil him best we could with breakfast, good behavior at church, lunch out and a screening of Toy Story 3. I think it made for a nice day for him...
As I reflect on how happy Mike seemed to be during his day with his girls it made me think about my own dad. For the second year in a row now I have NOT spoken with my father on fathers day. I asked Mike how he would feel if he did not speak with one of our girls on fathers day... he said it would be upsetting... and that if he received any messages from his girls he would have returned them asap. Here I am the second year in a row at 930pm after multiple messages and not one returned.
That's what sucks about life... when there is a rift in a family or among friends we can all say that we are not going to choose or take sides but we ALL do. Even if we do not know someone well or know the whole story we make an assumption or a decision to go a certain way. I look at my children and can say that Mike and I love them equally and unconditionally. I guess I just wish that I had that same feeling.
They say we learn something new everyday... I guess I learned my something new today.
Ok, enough pittying and venting... It is what it is I guess.
I think that Mike had a great day... We tried to spoil him best we could with breakfast, good behavior at church, lunch out and a screening of Toy Story 3. I think it made for a nice day for him...
As I reflect on how happy Mike seemed to be during his day with his girls it made me think about my own dad. For the second year in a row now I have NOT spoken with my father on fathers day. I asked Mike how he would feel if he did not speak with one of our girls on fathers day... he said it would be upsetting... and that if he received any messages from his girls he would have returned them asap. Here I am the second year in a row at 930pm after multiple messages and not one returned.
That's what sucks about life... when there is a rift in a family or among friends we can all say that we are not going to choose or take sides but we ALL do. Even if we do not know someone well or know the whole story we make an assumption or a decision to go a certain way. I look at my children and can say that Mike and I love them equally and unconditionally. I guess I just wish that I had that same feeling.
They say we learn something new everyday... I guess I learned my something new today.
Ok, enough pittying and venting... It is what it is I guess.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
The pictures I promised
Ok, so I guess I promised pictures a while ago, but you know how it goes... It is what it is people! :) That is my new mantra and I am going to live it!
Highlights below include: Megan's First Communion and Confirmation, getting ready for Easter and Easter morning. Continuing to try and get better with the blog thing...
Enjoy!
Highlights below include: Megan's First Communion and Confirmation, getting ready for Easter and Easter morning. Continuing to try and get better with the blog thing...
Enjoy!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Has it really been 4 months?
Well... so much for that promise about being better about blogging... Never happened... But, I did have some fun tonight updating my music... Still continue to love how certain songs just speak to me sometimes.
The Ewing home... well, we are doing well. Busy, busy, busy but doing a-ok! I guess I should try to update but alot of time has passed so I guess I will just do my best...
Megan:
*loves her new elementary school and has continued to be on principal's list every quarter. She loves to read and blows her AR goal out of the water usually in the 2nd week of each quarter.
*has really begun to love her piano lessons. She always liked them, but now I find her practicing without being asked and wanting to play. Looks like we are going to be searching for a piano in the next few weeks as the Casio keyboard is not cutting it anymore with her lesson books.
*has returned to her winter swim league and is all signed up for summer swim team... she continues to be a fish and I truly think she would live in the water if we let her.
*has definitly entered into her tweeny years... loves Justice, clothes, earrings, talking on the phone with friends, webkinz, facebook (yes, she has an account which is strictly supervised), hanging out with friends and riding her new beach cruiser bike that Santa brought her.
*has decided she wants to continue on with Girl Scouts and will be flying up to Juniors in a few short weeks.
*very excited to make her First Communion and Confirmation at church on May 2nd.
Aubrey:
*still our sassy awesome Aubrey...
*loves her 1st grade class and teacher and was so proud to win the award for the person who showed best charecter on a daily basis. She came home with tickets to a Diamondbacks game and lunch at Fridays at Chase field... what got me was she liked the "prize" but was more focused on the fact that she was a "good girl" and her "teacher actually likes me". Brought tears to my eyes that she has found a teacher who took a little girl with a bad kindergarten experience who was behind the curve entering 1st grade and transformed her into a confident, happy and appreciated awesome 6 year old who is now reading at an almost 3rd grade level!
*is talking about going back to piano but would rather spend more time with her Daisy troop for now... speaking of which she is bridging to Brownies in a few weeks.
*has mastered bike riding on 2 wheels with only one hand and standing on her seat while she rides her bike (and yes... I start having heart palpatations every time she does it).
*is reading only chapter books now... short stories are "for babies"
Allison:
*finished her Mommy and Me preschool this past week and really loved it.
*is officially potty trained which means she can go to preschool WITHOUT Mommy next fall... 3 days a week for 3 hours each day! WOO HOO!
*has returned to her Little Gym class and is not crying or throwing fits anymore... actually is having fun and has mastered her front roll, bear walk and wheelbarrel!
*started swim lessons last week and for the most part did not cry... we are making progress.
*thinks she owns the elementary school office since we are there so much... actually knows where every candy stash is... even in the Principal's office.
*continues to keep us on our toes and we keep an endless stock of Magic Erasers in the house... although we discovered they do not work on blendy pens all over the walls in her room and up and down the stairs... time to look into paint!
Mike:
*continues to work hard for Adobe... traveled quite a bit this year so far.. but has been home for 2 weeks which is a long stretch for him.
*continues to obsess about his landscaping and is excited about the new paver extended patio that was put in...
*got a brand new grill as an early Birthday/Fathers day gift.. I think he might love it more than me
Emily
*PTO continues to run my life, but I am loving it and feeling like I am making a difference
*has given my formal notice to both Girl Scout troops that I will not be a leader or cookie mom next year... feels good to pass the torch to someone else.
*is trying to get back on program and back to the gym more often... need to still find that balance and remember the me time.
*feels that I have finally come to an end with my grieving process for MJE and is at the point where I can say he is in a better place and I know he is waiting for me to join him someday.
*continues to strive to find the good in everything and walk away from the negative or anything that could hamper my emotional recovery... hard moments, but getting easier.
FAMILY:
*had a wonderful Christmas... Mike took 2 weeks off and we truly enjoyed the season as a family!
*Celebrated Alli's 3rd birthday with family and friends... she did pretty good, but had some ADD issues when it came to opening gifts
*Took the family to Disneyland and had a blast... of course there had to be drama from time to time and there was a freaking tsunmai warning, but we took it in stride! We are getting good at that!
*Stopped at the Cabazon outlets on the way home and had fun shopping for all new Le Cruset cooking ware... my kids were even into it!
*Celebrated Megan's 9th birthday... hard to believe!
*Had a wonderful Easter... even more wonderful because the Easter Bunny got our email and came on Saturday (before Easter) knowing that we had to leave super duper early to get out to Grandma's on time... what a good bunny! :-)
Those are the highlights I do believe... Sorry no pics tonight... just too tired... but will get back on tomorrow (or next week, or next month, or next year) :-) and load them on...
Keep checking back and maybe I will surprise you!!!!!!!
The Ewing home... well, we are doing well. Busy, busy, busy but doing a-ok! I guess I should try to update but alot of time has passed so I guess I will just do my best...
Megan:
*loves her new elementary school and has continued to be on principal's list every quarter. She loves to read and blows her AR goal out of the water usually in the 2nd week of each quarter.
*has really begun to love her piano lessons. She always liked them, but now I find her practicing without being asked and wanting to play. Looks like we are going to be searching for a piano in the next few weeks as the Casio keyboard is not cutting it anymore with her lesson books.
*has returned to her winter swim league and is all signed up for summer swim team... she continues to be a fish and I truly think she would live in the water if we let her.
*has definitly entered into her tweeny years... loves Justice, clothes, earrings, talking on the phone with friends, webkinz, facebook (yes, she has an account which is strictly supervised), hanging out with friends and riding her new beach cruiser bike that Santa brought her.
*has decided she wants to continue on with Girl Scouts and will be flying up to Juniors in a few short weeks.
*very excited to make her First Communion and Confirmation at church on May 2nd.
Aubrey:
*still our sassy awesome Aubrey...
*loves her 1st grade class and teacher and was so proud to win the award for the person who showed best charecter on a daily basis. She came home with tickets to a Diamondbacks game and lunch at Fridays at Chase field... what got me was she liked the "prize" but was more focused on the fact that she was a "good girl" and her "teacher actually likes me". Brought tears to my eyes that she has found a teacher who took a little girl with a bad kindergarten experience who was behind the curve entering 1st grade and transformed her into a confident, happy and appreciated awesome 6 year old who is now reading at an almost 3rd grade level!
*is talking about going back to piano but would rather spend more time with her Daisy troop for now... speaking of which she is bridging to Brownies in a few weeks.
*has mastered bike riding on 2 wheels with only one hand and standing on her seat while she rides her bike (and yes... I start having heart palpatations every time she does it).
*is reading only chapter books now... short stories are "for babies"
Allison:
*finished her Mommy and Me preschool this past week and really loved it.
*is officially potty trained which means she can go to preschool WITHOUT Mommy next fall... 3 days a week for 3 hours each day! WOO HOO!
*has returned to her Little Gym class and is not crying or throwing fits anymore... actually is having fun and has mastered her front roll, bear walk and wheelbarrel!
*started swim lessons last week and for the most part did not cry... we are making progress.
*thinks she owns the elementary school office since we are there so much... actually knows where every candy stash is... even in the Principal's office.
*continues to keep us on our toes and we keep an endless stock of Magic Erasers in the house... although we discovered they do not work on blendy pens all over the walls in her room and up and down the stairs... time to look into paint!
Mike:
*continues to work hard for Adobe... traveled quite a bit this year so far.. but has been home for 2 weeks which is a long stretch for him.
*continues to obsess about his landscaping and is excited about the new paver extended patio that was put in...
*got a brand new grill as an early Birthday/Fathers day gift.. I think he might love it more than me
Emily
*PTO continues to run my life, but I am loving it and feeling like I am making a difference
*has given my formal notice to both Girl Scout troops that I will not be a leader or cookie mom next year... feels good to pass the torch to someone else.
*is trying to get back on program and back to the gym more often... need to still find that balance and remember the me time.
*feels that I have finally come to an end with my grieving process for MJE and is at the point where I can say he is in a better place and I know he is waiting for me to join him someday.
*continues to strive to find the good in everything and walk away from the negative or anything that could hamper my emotional recovery... hard moments, but getting easier.
FAMILY:
*had a wonderful Christmas... Mike took 2 weeks off and we truly enjoyed the season as a family!
*Celebrated Alli's 3rd birthday with family and friends... she did pretty good, but had some ADD issues when it came to opening gifts
*Took the family to Disneyland and had a blast... of course there had to be drama from time to time and there was a freaking tsunmai warning, but we took it in stride! We are getting good at that!
*Stopped at the Cabazon outlets on the way home and had fun shopping for all new Le Cruset cooking ware... my kids were even into it!
*Celebrated Megan's 9th birthday... hard to believe!
*Had a wonderful Easter... even more wonderful because the Easter Bunny got our email and came on Saturday (before Easter) knowing that we had to leave super duper early to get out to Grandma's on time... what a good bunny! :-)
Those are the highlights I do believe... Sorry no pics tonight... just too tired... but will get back on tomorrow (or next week, or next month, or next year) :-) and load them on...
Keep checking back and maybe I will surprise you!!!!!!!
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